Stress and deceiving what the world brings

For long time, everything was fine, I guess.

But for a time now, 

I've been wondering was everything really alright?

Everything that was supposed to happen, didn't.

And those that wasn't suppose to, did.

Stress and worry was only building up,

and I didn't know what should I do.

But hey, in the end,

 I guess there was nothing to worry about.

I wasn't with my inner child.

... And now I'll continue the ride~

Wish the time could be reversed

If I could. I would.

The presence is just useless and dark.

For me, I guess.

Thanx for not even letting me know, that I'm not needed anymore

"You and me, we used to be together

Every day together, always

I really feel that I'm losing my best friend

I can't believe this could be the end"

So for you. My dear friend.

so...

When I got nothing but my aching soul

I'm alone.

I hate it.

Like those red bullets killing me hopefully.

I just feel, it might not be enough.

That's just it. I always, at some point, end up 

Golden Dragons should be flying here, but they are nowhere to be found.

I hope my pain would end. But, its hard, because I'm scared.

Truth

Heaven is a place on earth with you

It's you, it's you, it's all for you 

Everything I do

 I tell you all the time

 Heaven is a place on earth with you

 Tell me all the things you want to do

 I heard that you like the bad girls 

Honey,

 is that true?

How could I've let myself fall this far...
Almost it was over.
Almost was my bloody tears flooded to the white heaven.

For my foolishness, my blindness, for ignorance,

I had to beg you... I know it must have hurt so bad.

Here I am. Again.

And that is why I hate myself so much.

Because I just don't learn.

Yeah, I know, I'm daddy's little princess, and all... And when I was a kid I got a lot of stuff (toys) but it didn't fill me. I was searching more. Maybe kindness... Warmth... I dunno..

Still those things follow me.

I always have to get something, even though I haven't figured out the whole situation (meaning I might be sad/depressed about something, and that would be the reason to want something new)

I hate when I'm greedy, thought I'm not.. or that's what I feel.

I always fuck up everything.. With my family, friends and relationship.. Even with my pets.
Yeah.. How fucked up can I be.

I just have to learn it the hard way.